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December 27, 2010 / Wendy Joan

CaffeiNATION

Now that the Judeo-Christian holidays have come and gone, it’s easy to forget the media craze that descended upon U.S. inner cities and college campuses in late November, plaguing stomachs and psyches alike with a delectable combination of sugar, booze and caffeine.

But I remember Four Loko. I remember the Brooklyn, New York assemblyman who tried to drink three Four Lokos in one hour on the evening news and puked. I remember the countless co-eds who pounded Gin-laced Lokos all night and promptly had their stomachs pumped.

But best of all I remember pulling into the gas station in Boca Raton, the Monday before Thanksgiving. The four of us were digesting a belly full of Indian food and Kingfisher beers. Sam and I had enlightened our friends —a Ph.D. and a Ph.D. to be—on the liquid craze sweeping college campuses. We knew what we had to do.

Sam returned with three Four Lokos: Four Loko Lemon Lime, Four Loko Lemonade and Four Loko Cranberry Lemonade. An hour later, our chests were pumping. The card game was over. Sam was slumped over in the recliner before the boys decided to hook up our hosts’ Nintendo 64 and play Wrestlemania 2000. I fell asleep in an excellent bean bag chair with an even-more excellent blanket, chattering with our hostess about all those one time in Indias and watching our respective boyfriends virtually pummel each other to shreds.

On December 15, 2010, Four Loko as we once knew her was pulled from shelves across the U.S. and replaced with caffeine-free versions of their former selves. But I remember the Four Loko that once was …

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2 Comments

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  1. Heidi / Dec 31 2010 6:24 pm

    Does Four Loko taste anything like Red Bull?

    This post made me miss drinking. Really truly miss drinking.

  2. Wendy Joan / Jan 2 2011 10:29 am

    If you added at least 10 packets of sugar. If this post made you want to drink, then I didn’t properly convince you of Four Loko’s nastiness.

    (Don’t worry, you’ll drink again. Let me know now if a case of Labatt Blue is an inappropriate gift for a new mom.)

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